Dear reviewers, Where are you?

Dear HBS reviewer,

You may recall I sent you my HBS essay set almost a week ago. I understand this is holiday season and you have gone on a 2week-long vacation to God-knows-where-in-the-hills. I would like to remind you that the least you could have done is to tell me you would take extra time. When your cellphone was unreachable, I had to follow up at your office only to be told that you are on leave till 2nd January.

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I hope you do recall the time when I put in your recommendation for your current job, after you had been dying to get in PE for the last two years. I didnt want to sound desperate by mentioning this, but I really am. Please read my essays soon and give me some relevant feedback, like the last time you did for my Tuck essays.

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Dear Columbia reviewer,

I know I need to be extremely polite with you since you have been my ex-boss, and are writing recommendations for 8 schools. But I expected you to give me the Columbia feedback by Friday. I am sure you are busy drinking away to glory with your long weekend break, but please take a look at my essays somewhere between your first and fifth beer of the day. I fully understand before the first, you would be suffering last night’s hangover, and after the fifth you would be preparing for tomorrow morning’s.

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I need to send you my Chicago essay once you’re thru with Columbia, so please hurry up! Not that I have completed the powerpoint, but I cannot tell you that, can I? I look forward to your feedback so that puts some fire under my ass and makes me expedite my Chicago set.